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The decision to separate is never an easy one.

Even when a separation has been expected, it's common to feel a sense of shock or numbness as you begin to work through the practicalities that the whsn involves. You might also feel anxious about the future and overwhelmed by the number of decisions that you need to make.

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If you hadn't wanted the relationship to end, you may be feeling powerless and angry about what's happening as well as experiencing sadness and loss. On top of the turmoil of emotion that accompanies the ending of any relationship, there is a whole host of practical issues to address and important decisions to make about your future.

This is a time when you need to get the support and advice of other people. You might also find it helpful to write down all the things seeparating got to deal.

Mediation can help separating couples come to an agreement around arrangements for their children as well as sorting out issues like finances and property. Facing the end of your relationship can be traumatic and confusing. Our free tool can help you work out what to do.

Try the Ready to separate tool. Relate charity number: You are here Home Relationship help Help with separation and divorce Separation and divorce common problems We're separating, what next? We're separating, what next? Your list might include: The children - this of course is the most important issue.

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Deciding how both of you will continue to provide support and time. You'll need to think about access arrangements, child care, telling the school, seeing in-laws, birthday and Christmas arrangements.

You'll also need to talk to your partner about what to say to the children and how to manage their wen. Property - you'll need to decide who will live.

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Can one of you stay in the same house or will you separqting up and both move? Who will get what from the home and where will pets live?

Finances - running two homes inevitably means surviving on less income. You'll need to agree financial support for the children, and who will pay which essential bills.

How much will you say and who needs to know what? How will you maintain mutual friendships and handle relationships with in-laws?

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husbnd Personal survival - what practical steps do you need to make to ensure you cope during this difficult time? Which friends can support you practically, and which emotionally?

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How can you shen you have space to relax and space to grieve? And what treats can you reward yourself with when times are tough? How we can help Why not try our 'Ready to separate' tool?